Hello everybody out there – This is me, Molly Moon.

I’ve decided to drop you a quick note because everyone else seems to be doing it and also I’d like to make contact.

First of all I hope you like the author who I chose to write my memoirs.

I almost didn’t get around to recording my life but it has turned out so extraordinary that I eventually realised I should write it down for posterity and for you to read.

I bumped into Georgia Byng in Briersville where there was a Literary Festival on there (Literary festivals are where the writers come and talk to people about their books and how they write). Well, I got into a conversation with Georgia about my life and she thought it would work best told as a story in a long book – told with all the exciting stuff in it, as well as my feelings, and with descriptions so that you would feel you were there too. That sounded good to me.
I hope the books about my life help bring some other time-traveling, morphing, mind-reading hypnotists out into the daylight.

If you have discovered that you are a hypnotist, you may want a few tips.

So here are some off the top of my head.

First of all… Be careful of hypnotising under water. I suppose this is an odd one to start with, but I’m looking at a glass of water here, and so I thought of it.
So, as I was saying, be careful. This is why. The refraction of the water can do funny things to your hypnotic eye glare and people can think they’re hypnotised by the water and not by you. When they think they’re hypnotised by the water it’s really tricky as they do all sorts of weird things. They want to sleep in the water for instance and they want to keep drinking it. They go into water nymph mode and it can be really embarrassing for them.

Be careful hypnotising people near water.

I hypnotised a fat woman in the swimming pool in Los Angeles because she was saying how much she needed to do some exercise but couldn’t be bothered. I thought I’d do her a favour and make exercise really easy for her. But when I hypnotised her she fell over backwards and her head went under. It was terrible – she nearly drowned. Rocky had to help pull her out and we had to put her into the life saving position once she was on dry land again. All her makeup had smudged all over her face and she coughed up lots of water. At least she survived. That one gave me a shock.

If you hypnotise people through the flames of a fire, your eye glare gets distorted so be careful. This can be really dangerous. When I did it, the man I hypnotised wanted to get into the fire. He could have been barbecued. Luckily I persuaded him that it was a very bad idea so he didn’t.

That brings me onto the very important warning that you must be very careful where people are when you hypnotise them. For instance I would never hypnotise someone who was standing on the edge of a cliff or by a busy road – you never know if they’re going to react strangely and move when you first hypnotise them. They might step backwards off the cliff or into the traffic – that sort of thing. I could write a long list of why you should be careful of hypnotising people but I’ll write a short one and you should get the idea.

Be careful of hypnotising drivers, when they’re driving, and pilots of planes or helicopters and captains of ships etc.

Be careful of hypnotising people holding dangerous things. For instance butchers holding knives, guards holding fierce dogs, police holding guns, old ladies holding umbrellas or heavy handbags. Of course sometimes you will just have to hypnotise on the spot but just beware that if you do it wrong that weapon they are holding can be used against you.

Hypnotising animals

Obviously this is good fun but just be careful because animals with teeth can be very scary if they aren’t hypnotised properly. It is lovely though to hypnotise lions and make them cuddly. You can hypnotise elephants to do dog tricks and mice to run in circles and roll on the floor or climb into matchboxes. When you hypnotise animals you have to work out a way of explaining what you want them to do. That is quite difficult…. Easy if you speak lion or elephant or mouse. Difficult if you don’t.

Remember that you probably don’t want a lot of attention if you are hypnotising people, so don’t ask them to scream at the top of their voices or do something that will have them arrested. To be a responsible hypnotist you should always make sure that you are around to bring a person out of the trance that you put them in. If they are miles away in a police station you can’t get to them… unless you hypnotise a few policemen. Generally anyway you don’t want to make people do things that make them get into trouble as this is not very nice… (unless of course they deserve a bit of a punishment like Adderstone did).

I have found that hypnotism is best when it is used to help people. It’s brilliant for curing bad habits like smoking, over-eating, fear of flying, fear of making friends, that sort of thing. And as a hypnotist it always feels so nice to be useful like this.

Lastly, remember that you can also hypnotise yourself.

I like the hypnotic saying that goes,

‘Every day in every way I get better and better and better.’

It’s amazing, if you say this to yourself, your life really does start to get better. It’s called ‘positive affirmation’ and it is a fantastic hypnotic present to yourself. Try it!

The other thing that is a good thing to say to yourself is,

‘No bad thoughts are allowed in my brain today. Today I am only going to think of positive good things.’

You will see that this is a brilliant thing to do.

Don’t fill your head with worry or nasty things… They will spoil your day. Obviously if your dog dies you can’t not think about that but in general I find it’s a good idea, in a normal day to concentrate on the good stuff.

So… HAPPY HYPNOTISING everybody!!

Lots of love from

Molly Moon

PS By the way, that letter from Petula was not from Petula at all. Rocky wrote it because he’s the creative type and because he thought Petula would like a word with you all if she could.

PPS Rocky says hi.